clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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