why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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