just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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