so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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