how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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