I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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