If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
