apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
