I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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