I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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