The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
