Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she looked like the before picture.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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