I think I won the penis lottery.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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