life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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