You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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