Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
