It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
