Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
