i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
meet me or not, i'm out of control
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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