He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
