are you so shy because you have an std?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
