What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
