why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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