The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
