she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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