That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize