I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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