i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
