i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come see our sink grown plant.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
