We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
