it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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