Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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