That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
