i barfeds in our rink
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
