Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
