he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
