Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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