Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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