i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You don't make any sense
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