the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
