i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
