That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
