idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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