I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
