i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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