i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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