And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize