That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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