It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
