Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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