I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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