Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
